Sunday, 13 April 2014

Ward Meeting and Real Estate Menus

This morning was my first ‘ward meeting’, and I had been warned about it, but clearly was still unprepared.

Ten people, a registrar, two medical students, two house doctors, my nurse, a social worker, all sitting with folders and staring at me and my little family as I’m forced to discuss my week, my thoughts, and disclose all the many side effects I am experiencing from this apparent drug trial I am on.

Nausea, fatigue, fogginess, forgetfulness, dizziness, diarrhea, re-lactation – relactation? Really? Cue blood test. Waiting. Probable medication change. Start again.

Afterwards I am so overwhelmed that I start to cry and feel the all-to-familiar darkness coming back for another go.

We take Bean to the park, and put her in the swings and go down the slide. Her funny half giggles, the fresh autumn air and the cool sunlight push the black away, just for a little while.

I’ve decided that whoever writes the menus here (which we must mark off a week in advance), must be a former real estate agent. Hired to transform soggy food into fresh, vibrant ideas, so that we are fooled into believing we actually have a choice.

Yesterday, I chose ‘Satay Chicken on a bed of rice with seasonal vegetables’. I received a plate of white meat, in an equally pale sauce, speckled with red flakes and a slightly orange tinge. It tasted how it looked, there was definitely no satay. The seasonal vegetables are apparently code for frozen mixed veges and suspiciously phallic kumara.


I’ve only wanted to kill myself twice today.

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