A Week of Weird

I'm at 21 weeks now, but apparently I am lying about that.
I know this, because during this week, four different teachers told me (in a variety of ways) that I looked much further along than I say I am.
Some of the best comments:
"You're only 21 weeks? Shouldn't you still be able to hide it?"
"You aren't due till september? You look like you've swallowed a basketball!"
And a beauty I heard second hand from students, "Miss is pregnant? I knew it! The rest of the class just thought she was really really fat."

These harmless comments, which were probably forgotten about the instant the perpetrators uttered them, have been my downfall this week.

On wednesday morning, I couldn't find a single thing to wear, everything made me look huge, I couldn't find anything that fitted. I was heading towards a disintegrating meltdown when Husband calmly directed me to 'go do my teeth' while he endeavoured to hunt for my one pair of pregnancy pants. In the end, I went to school in my stretchy gym pants and a t-shirt. Cleverly disguised as work pants with a nice jersey. Still, I spent all day worried that I looked enormous, and that every single person was sizing me up. Even today I was asked the wonderful question "Are you absolutely positive you are not having twins?"

On Tuesday I felt my first Braxton Hicks Contraction. It was really weird, I was just walking along, and then my tummy seized up. It didn't hurt, but I had to stop walking for a minute until it relaxed again. My midwife says these don't normally happen till later, but the google machine tells me a different story, and made me feel normal. So I am sticking with google for now.

Bubs is kicking and moving around a lot, still not strong enough to be felt on the outside, much to Husbands disappointment, nevertheless, I really enjoy feeling it, which is surprising, because for as long as I can remember, I have just expected that I would hate it. That it would feel alien and weird, and awful. I was actually really nervous about feeling it, but now that's all changed. I love it, I can sit for ages with my hand on the bump just waiting for the next one.

I am taking tomorrow off school, as I am absolutely exhausted. The discomfort of not being able to find a comfy position to sleep, the heartburn, the infrequent but painful round ligament pain, the swollen ankles and body that is already 7kg heavier than it was 5months ago, let alone the mood swing train, is taking it's toll in a big way right now.

At least I have my little kicker to keep me company! Maybe she'll be a soccer star!

Half way downsides, upsides, and insides

It's official, from now on, my little app counters 'weeks to go' will be less than the 'weeks completed'!!

I was told at the start that the second trimester would be the best, that I'd have amazing hair and lots of energy, that I'd be happy and excited and everything would pretty much be like dancing in a crystal lake with singing baby unicorns covered with rainbow swirls.

"NAWWWWWWWW!"


That was a lie.

I am told by the odd person that I am glowing. If that's true, then my body is doing some weird camouflage trick whereby it is hiding the inner ugliness extremely well. I'm not sure what the evolutionary point of this would be, however.


For the past couple of months I have been prone to getting very overwhelmed, crying at inappropriate times, and for what seems like very little reason. This isn't the case though - there is a lot on my mind! I am worried about labour, finances, work situation, my mental state before and after baby gets here. On top of that, there is work, reports, interviews, I am putting on a show, and a festival and something else probably that I don't even know about!!!! Sigh, at least it's keeping me distracted from the pregnancy a little bit.

Baby brain is reaching new, unexplored heights. I am actually a little concerned that I may not remember anything or anyone very soon.

For the past month, I have been loosing about 3 times more hair than normal every time I shower/brush/straighten, or indeed do anything to it in an attempt to feel pretty. This concerns me somewhat, as I was informed that women in fact lost LESS hair while pregnant....

In the past week I have been whacked in the face (or oesophagus) with the worst heartburn I've ever had! I am now having to sleep in a semi upright position, which is interesting. Apparently this is because baby is now making it's presence really known, and all my insides are getting squished up to make room. Yummy.

Yesterday I had my first experience of round ligament pain. That is, short, stabby pains in your lower abdomen. I'm not sure what the point of them is, but they can really make you catch your breath and freeze up. Worst thing is that they happen frequently, and quickly, and over and over again.


On the upside though, we went and bought baby some storage shelves for her room, and also some really bold coloured storage baskets to fit in the shelves. It looks fantastic, and it was so nice to put some of the things we have collected for her into them. Rather than leaving them in the cot.

And the even better news is? I can now sometimes feel the kicks with my hand! I started feeling the movements very very early, at about 15 weeks. But everyone told me it was very unlikely, and to be honest, made me feel pretty rubbish about it. But I know now that I WAS feeling kicks, because those little flutters have simply got stronger, and two days ago I put my hand on my bump and felt it move on the outside. It was the best thing ever!

Little Bouncy Hamster

The Scan, in short, was amazing.
I was so nervous I couldn't eat much breakfast at all. Then I was struggling to drink the amount of water required to inflate my bladder in order to push the uterus into a position they could see it. So by the time we arrived - a whole half hour early - I was pretty sure they weren't going to see anything, even there was something to see. And it would be all my fault.

However, luck was in our favour! The 8am appointment never showed up, so at 8.10 we were ushered down a series of maze like corridors into a darkened room with a giant screen on the wall.

First thing I did? I looked around to see what I could possible throw up into should I get to that point.
(Threat checking again!!)

I lay down, exposed my tummy, and closed my eyes. Determined that if there was something wrong then I didn't want to see it, I just wanted to be let down gently.
My Husband gasped and said 'Oh Wow!'

Eyes open.

There it was. A teeny, tiny human creature larger than life on the screen before us.
We certainly didn't need training in radiography to be able to tell for ourselves, there was definitely a baby in there.

Not going to lie, there were tears from both of us. Laughter too as we watched baby jumping on the walls of my uterus as though it were a trampoline.

The radiographer was having a hard time trying to capture the images needed as the little monkey kept twisting and turning.

Two arms, two hands, ten fingers, two legs and feet, a head, a tiny beating heart. Everything was just where it should be.

At one point it rolled over and faced us, showing us it's terrifyingly alien like face at which we all cried 'roll back baby!"

After all that stress of the first 12 weeks, it's amazing to finally have a picture. To know it's real. To know that I haven't eaten something or taken too hot a bath and ruined it all somehow. Husband is now finally letting himself be excited too. We can finally start looking at baby furniture and other cute things - and we finally let the facebook universe know!

For the meantime, I am not anxious right now. Just very, very excited. I'm even starting to feel ok about the prospect of labour, as that means I will finally get to meet the little bean.