Half way downsides, upsides, and insides

It's official, from now on, my little app counters 'weeks to go' will be less than the 'weeks completed'!!

I was told at the start that the second trimester would be the best, that I'd have amazing hair and lots of energy, that I'd be happy and excited and everything would pretty much be like dancing in a crystal lake with singing baby unicorns covered with rainbow swirls.

"NAWWWWWWWW!"


That was a lie.

I am told by the odd person that I am glowing. If that's true, then my body is doing some weird camouflage trick whereby it is hiding the inner ugliness extremely well. I'm not sure what the evolutionary point of this would be, however.


For the past couple of months I have been prone to getting very overwhelmed, crying at inappropriate times, and for what seems like very little reason. This isn't the case though - there is a lot on my mind! I am worried about labour, finances, work situation, my mental state before and after baby gets here. On top of that, there is work, reports, interviews, I am putting on a show, and a festival and something else probably that I don't even know about!!!! Sigh, at least it's keeping me distracted from the pregnancy a little bit.

Baby brain is reaching new, unexplored heights. I am actually a little concerned that I may not remember anything or anyone very soon.

For the past month, I have been loosing about 3 times more hair than normal every time I shower/brush/straighten, or indeed do anything to it in an attempt to feel pretty. This concerns me somewhat, as I was informed that women in fact lost LESS hair while pregnant....

In the past week I have been whacked in the face (or oesophagus) with the worst heartburn I've ever had! I am now having to sleep in a semi upright position, which is interesting. Apparently this is because baby is now making it's presence really known, and all my insides are getting squished up to make room. Yummy.

Yesterday I had my first experience of round ligament pain. That is, short, stabby pains in your lower abdomen. I'm not sure what the point of them is, but they can really make you catch your breath and freeze up. Worst thing is that they happen frequently, and quickly, and over and over again.


On the upside though, we went and bought baby some storage shelves for her room, and also some really bold coloured storage baskets to fit in the shelves. It looks fantastic, and it was so nice to put some of the things we have collected for her into them. Rather than leaving them in the cot.

And the even better news is? I can now sometimes feel the kicks with my hand! I started feeling the movements very very early, at about 15 weeks. But everyone told me it was very unlikely, and to be honest, made me feel pretty rubbish about it. But I know now that I WAS feeling kicks, because those little flutters have simply got stronger, and two days ago I put my hand on my bump and felt it move on the outside. It was the best thing ever!

Baby Brain, it's a real thing

Top 5 baby brain moments so far.

5. Searching for my fuel discount card in my wallet, my bag, my wallet again, under the car seat, wallet again! Oh wait, there it is. In my wallet. Right in the first pocket. Staring right at me.

4. Walking into the supermarket. Carefully recited list of necessaries vanishes inexplicably. Walk up and down aisles for 15 minutes hoping something will come back. Got some stuff. Got back into the car. Drove home. Didn't have what I went there for. Husband not impressed.


3. Walking into a class and prepping the board. Kids I've never seen before walk in for class. Clearly NOT my class. What on earth am I teaching now? Late to class.


2. I really should start writing things down, 'cos number 2 was a winner.......


1. Is it the first of April or the first of May that's April fools....oh, wait.

Things I never expected when I was expecting

My anxiety has fluctuated greatly over the past couple of months. One moment I feel fine, like I can handle all these changes and uncertainties like a pro! The next, I look in the mirror, see my spotty skin and growing waistline and freak out. Thoughts like "I can't do this, get me off!" are not uncommon in our household at those moments. It doesn't help that I feel completely useless next to my superhero husband who has started doing the groceries, making tea, doing the dishes, the laundry, and still managing to work and rehearse his show, all while I battle the urge to eat an entire box of coco pops, struggle to get off the couch, and can barely keep my eyes open during the day, yet lay awake all night. Basically, I have become a useless and incompetent incubator who no longer fits anything, or can walk anywhere for longer than half an hour without having to sit down. I do buy him lots of presents to show him how grateful I am, but it doesn't feel like enough. He says it's fine, but I don't believe it is. I only hope that I can show him how amazing he is and pull through this pregnancy without too many anxious meltdowns!


The top 10 things I never expected when I was expecting (other than how amazing my husband would be).
16 weeks edition

1. My cute tiny feet would grow.
2. My hair would fall out...I thought it was supposed to stop falling out at all!
3. How quickly I would no longer fit my clothes.
4. How ravenously hungry you can be after eating all day, and how sick being hungry can make you feel.
5. ...I can't quite remember this one......Baby brain! (It's a real thing).
6. That food aversion is just as real as food craving.
7. At the start, it hurts when you cough, it hurts when you sneeze, it hurts when you laugh
8. Suddenly women everywhere are dying to tell your their pregnancy stories, their birth stories, in fact, any stories.
9. How sore your boobs can get.....even going over speed bumps was TORTURE.
10. That I'd stop being so afraid of labour - the thought of not being pregnant is just too good!

and the added bonus thing: 

1. How many weird dreams of trying to crawl through tiny spaces I would start having....hmmmm.
2. oh, did I mention how amazing my husband would be?