I have finally started to accept that I am in a psych ward, stopped feeling an overwhelming urge to escape, and have instead been making use of the art room in the evenings after Bean is asleep. It helps me feel better, especially when I am finger painting. This piece, started off as a piece of wood, which I covered in black paint and then placed two red footprints on it using a screwed up fist. Then I continued with the red to symbolise the blood and pain of the past seven months, before adding scratch marks and dragging my fingers down through the red to try and capture the slow, unwilling fall into this illness. The feet remain in a clear corner because I am trying to protect her from all that pain.
After that, I scanned it into my computer and adjusted some of the saturations, sharpness and added a 'cloud' filter on a low intensity to try and capture the ultimate fogginess of it all when I'm trying to remember how bad things have been. Finally, I added a 'charcoal' border to try and tidy it up a little bit. I am pleased with how it's turned out, particularly with how clear the scratch marks have ended up in the final result, as on the original wood painting, they aren't very obvious.
It was very cathartic, and I am now working on another piece. It's just a shame the art room has nothing to draw on, no paper, no scissors, no board or canvas. Someone needs to fund it, even the sewing machine is not working.
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