A Prayer

Trigger Warning. Self Harm and Suicide


Thank God for a family, who are there when I fall,
who move heaven and earth at my un-cried out call.
Who will drive through the night, just to be by my side,
when the dark gets to great and I cant bear the ride.

Thank God for a Father who will let down his walls,
and send reinforcements, the moment they're called.
And a Mother who senses a fall from afar,
and will travel o'er mountains to be where you are.

Thank god for a Sister who laughs, jokes and smiles,
who has never once judged and will go extra miles,
who just lets me be, but wont let me fall deep,
deeper than from where I think I can creep.

Thank God for a Sister who prays far away,
who checks on me secretly to see I'm OK.
And the Brother who silently looks on and fears,
although he cant get here, I know that he cares.

Thank God for a Lover who knows it's not me,
when I'm screaming, and crying and not wanting to be.
When I'm scratching my skin, in a bid to ease pain,
and when blood flows I'm pleading 'God take my insane.'

Thank God for my Baby who as yet doesn't know,
that her Mummy is suffering from yet one more blow.
But no matter how hard, when I fall and I ache,
I know I wont leave her, I know I can't break.

When the pills start to beckon, and the thoughts get so black,
that I beg for oblivion and can't claw my way back.
When I plead with my Husband to commit me, admit me,
that's when I fear, of my Babe, I'm not worthy.

Please God, protect her, from that which I hide,
From her cherubic face and her innocent eyes.
Don't let her suffer the way that I have,
grant her peace from this darkness,
Let her live, love and thrive.

http://portaldivinaluz.blogspot.co.nz/2012_08_01_archive.html