Saturday, 2 November 2013

The Parent App

Night-time feeding, soothing, changing and rocking, gives one far too much time to think about different takes on your situation. Take for instance, this gem which has been plaguing my brain for the past week. I think it could be a winner for the app market personally!

The Parent App



If you need help to give your life an overhaul, The Parent App is the greatest App you will ever download. It will give you fulfilment, challenge you, puzzle you, and give you endless hours of entertainment and joy on a scale no one can describe and which no other app can provide. If you want to change your life, and you've been looking for an easy way to do it quickly, this is the App you've been looking for! Finding Candy Crush too easy? This app can guarantee to keep you constantly on your toes! The goal is simple. Stop the baby from crying. Keep the baby from dying. There are no other rules. Simpler to play than Plants vs Zombies, and rewards you with more than just sunshine!

Reviews:

Kelly780 
*****
Best Feeling Ever
"This app is amazing, getting it is the best thing I ever did. Waking up to it is the best feeling ever!"

JohnJay9
***
Some Bugs
"There are some fairly minor bugs to sort out, but overall, this App really changed my life for the better."

Iceberg20567
*
"This app destroyed my life."



Please take the time to read the terms and conditions before committing to purchase.

Terms and Conditions
By committing to purchase you are stating that you have read these terms and conditions. 
The Parent App requires access to your entire life. Your calendar, your family, your friends, your job, your social life, your house, your ability to leave your house, your ability to travel, your ability to sleep, your ability to watch a movie uninterrupted, your ability to eat a meal with both hands, your ability to rinse the conditioner out of your hair, your ability bath, your desire to have sex, your mental stability and your notion of personal space and ability to spend time alone.

Warning  
This game has two rules which need to be met constantly in order to keep it from destroying your entire existence. There are many right ways to achieve these goals, however only one will apply at any given time. The correct solutions are programmed to change at random, and without warning. This app will run constantly, and once installed will take priority over every other app you are attempting to run at any given time. It cannot be deleted or uninstalled. It cannot be exchanged or returned for a refund. It will run 24 hours a day, 7 days a week from the moment you activate it, and is set to demand your attention frequently, at random, and mostly at your most inconvenient moment. By clicking "I Accept", you are stating that you have read, understood and agree to all the above. We accept no responsibility for any harm or mental distress brought about by this app. 



Good thing no one ever reads the T&C'S!




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