Things People Say Before They Have Children

I'll be the first to admit, I did, in fact, say each and every one of these cringe worthy statements.

I wish I could go back in time and slap my arrogant pre-baby self in the face.

Common Pre-Baby Misconceptions

Oh the joy of a perfect, beautiful, happy family.
source:http://allhod.com/?attachment_id=1596

1. "I just don't get it, how do people with kids seem to have no time? Don't babies sleep for 16 hours a day?"


2. "There's just no reason not to be a yummy-mummy. I mean seriously, I've got people lined up to babysit, all it takes is an hour to see a hairdresser."


3. "I'm pretty sure I can do the baby bit, it's the labour I'm worried about. I mean, babies only need three things don't they? They're either tired, hungry or need a new nappy. So how hard can it be to figure out which one it is? I'll be fine."


4. "Well, this bouncinet bounces automatically and has a white noise player. So if baby isn't sleeping, I'll just put it in there and then it will be rocked to sleep no problem."


5. "Gosh baby clothes are cute. I just want to buy them ALL!"


6. "Look, plunket gave us a book which tells us how to do everything. I'm sure whatever goes wrong, the answer will be there."


7. "Oh, I'm not worried. I'm too excited to have a wee cute bubba running around the house."

Post Baby Realisations

Ummm, soooo, yeah. Meet my family. Wait, why is my daughters face missing from the picture? 

1. "I thought babies were supposed to sleep for 16 hours a day? I haven't slept for more than 3 hours at a time in the past two months."


2. "I'm sorry, do I look like I want to go to a hairdresser and stare in the mirror at their disgustingly beautiful make up and styled hair and frequently showered bodies. I'm just amazed I got dressed today!"


3. "Seriously, what else could it be? Because I'VE TRIED ALL OF THOSE THREE TIMES AND YOU ARE STILL SCREAMING AT ME!"


4. "What do you mean, baby doesn't like the bouncinet? It cost me $300! MAKE HER LIKE IT!"


5. "We have way too many baby clothes, and baby has already grown out of most of them and SHIT! We never managed to get a photo of her in Aunt Mertyls hand crocheted dress! Better squeeze her into now while we still have a chance."


6. "Where is that plunket book?! What is the number for plunketline again? WHY ISNT IT IN YOUR PHONE YET?! "


7. "Is it wrong that I want to console people who tell me they're pregnant, instead of offering my congratulations? Is it? Why is she still awake? Why won't she eat her food? Why is she spitting at me?"