I wish Part II

source: http://www.deviantart.com/customization/wallpaper/?view_mode=2&order=14&q=Self+Aware

It would be nice to have an illness,

that everyone could see

So that when I'm scared and tired

the reassurance wouldn't be,

But if you had the flu, a bug

or a broken bone inside your head,

would you or anyone else expect

that you should leave your bed?

I wish I had a fault that was easier to fix,

and a well researched and trialled dose

could save me from it's hits.

But when something's wrong inside your brain

it is all just in your head.

An insidious and deadly toll it takes on you instead,

and no on can tell by looking

that you're walking but are dead.

So no one sends you get well cards,

few people give you time

like they would if you were hospitaled

with broken bones, or flu of swine.

So instead you just stop telling where the pain you feel hides.

Because you yourself, know longer know's for sure where it lives inside.

You search for ways instead to feel something that is real

a physical sensation in a place your hands can feel.

Look a cut, see, here's my hurt.

See I'm not ok.

This pain is real, and feels more pleasant than what's standing in my way,

and you can tell by looking, that this pain is not ok.