Being Informed

 Being Informed 

(aka societies distinct oversight in leaving women unprepared for pregnancy)

I am not convinced, that society has really moved on from the days when this add was acceptable. It seems that pregnancy is still a huge secret, something you only get to learn about if you actually enter into it's hallowed halls. How have we managed to get to a place, where we actively teach kids about puberty in schools, we give out our pre-adolescent girls 'sample packs' at age 9, we have baskets of condoms for the taking at many youth facilities, we see frequent and more graphic adds for tampons, liners and erectile disfunction, and don't even mention the amount of sex and female nudity we see in the movies. Oh yeah - and the laughable fake pregnancies and birth scenes which every now and then we are treated to. Yet still we are all allowed to enter adulthood and at some stage, our own pregnancy knowing very, very little about what 'being pregnant' actually entails.

Before I got pregnant, I knew precisely the following.

• How to get pregnant.
• That I'd get bigger and gain weight.
• That morning sickness hit most women and was awful and could continue right through.
• That labour hurt. A lot.

I may have had some vague notions surrounding things like stretch marks, practise contractions, that bleeding during pregnancy was bad and that pre-eclampsia was something I really didn't want. But in all honesty, that was it.

Before I got pregnant I was panicked about morning sickness, about the loss of control I'd have over my body and about the labour. 

Before I got pregnant, I knew nothing. And nothing is what I expected.

Re. Ality. Check.

My body is giving me so many surprises lately, that I don't think I can take anymore. I now have to wake up  and sit up, in order to roll over, as the weight of the baby makes my back click and and my hips scream STOP. I am having to learn all these 'secrets of pregnancy' at a super fast rate. Because NOBODY tells you about it before you get there. I had never heard of Colostrum or Breast Pads, or Maternity Pads, or Breast Pumps, or disposable hospital underwear before this year.  I didn't know that you would start leaking Colostrum before you'd even had the baby. I didn't know that your stomach stayed 'pregnant' after the baby was born. I didn't know that you'd bleed after giving birth, and most likely have to throw all your post-birth undies away. I didn't know about mucous plugs or 'bloody show' or the sacram or practise contractions, that it really hurts in the first trimester to sneeze or cough, that in the third trimester I'd get so huge I would actually need help getting in and out of the bed/bath/chair/car, be in constant pain and discomfort and want to sleep all the time.

Now that I am pregnant, I now understand why no-one really talks about it.

It's horrible. It's gross. It's uncomfortable and it's incredibly personal.

But that doesn't excuse the lack of knowledge non-mothers have about pregnancy and birth. If you don't understand the reality, you aren't fully informed. If you are not fully informed, how can you possibly be expected to make the right decision about anything. It's the reason we are going through pregnancies freaking out at every new twinge or 'leakage' that occurs, because we really don't know what is or isn't normal. It's akin to going to the airport with a suitcase of your favourite beach clothes, getting on a plane with no idea where you're going, spending the whole time dreaming about oceans and sand, then landing in Alaska with no return ticket and being greeted by a guide speaking a language you barely understand who tells you 'well, now you're here, this is how you survive.'

Before I got pregnant, I was adament that I'd have an epidural, gas, drugs, anything to get me through labour and out the other side, and more than likely was going to have an elective C-section in order to avoid it altogether. 

Since I've been pregnant, I have completely changed my mind about labour, I now want it to be as natural as possible, because now I'm aware of what actually goes along with having a c-section, drugs or an epidural. 

I can't wait to meet my daughter. But I want to meet her wide awake.